Billy Hill

The Patriotic Philosopher of Possum County Billy Hill is what happens when a six-pack of root beer, a John Deere hat, and the U.S. Constitution have a baby in the back of a pickup truck. Hailing from the grand hills of somewhere-between-here-and-there, Billy proudly considers himself a "hillbilly" — but with a PhD in common sense and a minor in wrestling raccoons off his porch. With a mullet that flows like a bald eagle in slow motion and a wardrobe that screams "Walmart clearance aisle patriotism," Billy doesn’t just love America — he is America. He celebrates the 4th of July so hard his neighbors file noise complaints with the bald eagle sanctuary three counties over. Billy’s life philosophy is simple: “If it ain’t broke, duct tape it anyway for extra freedom.” He doesn’t take life too seriously because, as he puts it, “Ain’t no point stressin’ when you got barbecue sauce and a recliner.” He believes everything in life can be solved with a grill, a beer, or a rousing debate about which state has the best gas station snacks. Billy once tried to start his own political party: The Red, White, and Brew Party: its platform consisting entirely of fireworks, lawn chairs, and banning low-fat anything. Whether he’s hunting invisible squirrels in flip-flops or giving unsolicited wisdom like “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy bacon,” Billy Hill is the national treasure no one asked for, but America somehow deserves.